CoachO Puttatha "Studdah" inna Studdahathleet!

CoachO juswannasay hee-saw prawda JerralPawe! JerralPawesa BEE BAW whatwanna commah to Oxfuh and PLAYREBAHFOOTBAH! Coase, JarlPaw hadheesah trobbah witta NC-dubbah-A clearahahaws and WUNTALOWD COMTAH OXFUH LASS'YEAH. But JarlPaw don-givvuhp, naw, cahs REBAH NEVAH SAYGIVVUP! He hittabooks an' gaw-heeself ailgible foah 2007 REBAHFOOTBAH!

'Coardin to hee-mamaw, "Jarrle reah-goohd chile, buh he dontno howta reahd". But tha-dommean heah naw-smawt! Hell, coachO could-naw reahd till hee-wah twenny-foah yeah-awd, an coachO now hassah HONORAIRY DOCKTRATE IN COMPARATAH-POLATICK FROAM CAYME-BRIDGE!