Wellkahback, coachOrgeron!!!!!

dassrightCoachO lovah!! daCoachO wennawayfrom daSAWCALIFAWNATROJAN foahwhile taChaseaDream daCOACHO haddabout coachindaREBBAHFOOTBALLYAWYAWYAW! But coachO BACKINABIGWAYBABY!!!! coachOsofiyaup hegossimsef a TWITTAHFEED! COACHOTWITTAMANIAC!

an' daCoachO HEAHTASTAYF'EVAH!!! Naw SINGDACOACHO SONG!! SINGDASONG!!! SING IT, WHAAALBOYS!!!!



Wellkahback, coachOrgeron!!!
WeeeelllkahBack!
yawDreamsWasyawTICA-OUT
WeeeelllkahBack!
taThaSAMEAHLPLACEyawLAFFABOUT!

welldaNamesaAwlChangesinceyawHUNGAROUN!
buttaDreamsaRamainedandTHYAWWTURNAROUND!

WhoodathawtheyLEEEDYA???
(WhoodathawtheyLEEEEDYA?)
HeeyawWheahWENEEYA!
(HeeyawWheahWENEEYA!)

YaaawwWeTEEZUMalaw cawsWeGAWTIMONNASPOT!
Wellkahback! Wellkahback! WeeeelllkahBACK!!!!

dacoachO FARE-WEH speech

Fansan Rebbah fay-fuh, foddah passtwodays, yawbeen heerin-boutda bad breakda coachO goss-heeseff. Buhtudday, da coachO considah hee-sef da LUCKYAHMAN onda FASSA-DIS URF! coachO been in aww kindsa footbah-feels fo seventah years, and coachO ain't receeve nutha-bah kindliness an 'curgement from y'all REBBAH FANS!

So coachO closebahsayin he miya-hadda tuffbreak, buh coachO steel gossa awfa-law to LEEVFO!

TAHM TAH FAHREUPPDA REBAH!

DaCoachO'sback fromhalong summasobattticah. Ateenweekawaylifta, gaytawranglah, skeetshootah, anna cartahpponnty AngahMannymen trainyah! Nah, DaCocahO'hebak, annahe'reddah tah takonyawhol' ESSEEECEE fahda fine peepaOxfah. Buthahfirsthinnfirs, daRebah, weneeda takarrabinna'again demMemfahTigah!

Nah, DaCoachO, hegotta'gammaplahfah 'demTigahenMemfah! Deygotdat PEERMID inda donnatownMemfah, soDaRebah, wegonnarun'dapractassahs innafullceremonnya'regallah! We'gon'restahdaordah'ofdahfinnapepahOxfah! WEGONNATAKADEMPHARRABASTYATOTASK!

DAREBAHGONNAPRACTALIKKAKANGS!

COACH O PRACTACANI YAZZFLOO!

Peepa stoppda CoachO in dahstreet, askah "HeyCoachO, whereyoubeenalllwinna?"

I be insipractacan! CoachObrushaup onna tootreetings inda offseesaw. Itnotalljussafootbaw, or waylifffa, moretaliffdandat! Whattbout'squathrusten? Enniwweh, CoachO jussapassin through, sharin' hisotha greatpassyon, dayazzfloo!

Youcan linkhyah toplaysacomputahfloo! Watcha'fo daGermah!

CoachOhadtagettanoopyooter lastnigh. HesalldemGerees, ANDHETOSSDAPYOOTERGAINSTDAWAH!

COACHOFLOOFLAMMAAFTAHSABURBAH!

CoachO takkanat easah!

It'sben alonganhar offseasafah DaCoachO! Fawst, hegotdarecruitsallinnaline. All'dem newmemba o'daRebahfamlah, dey signonnadottaline! WE'GONKICKSOMEESSEECEETEETIN! Aftahdats, DaCoachO needsometahmfo DaCoachO! Lotsadaytill 'daofficialpractatime, soDaCoachO kickinbackan takanateasah! Righnah, hereclinin' innhiscomfahchah an'watchin' hisfavramornagameshow, DAPRICEARIGHT! DaCoachO'juslov watchdaCliffenHanga!

coachO Gottagrate Binnessplan! GONNAMAKAMILLYA DOLLAH!!

Alldarebahfanssay, "HeycoachO, yougottabig contrah-stenshyn, darebbah GREATAHTEEMINDALAND, an' evvabuddahwanna buyaHUMMAfromcoachO! Whassnext indacoachO's plan-ta-TAKEOVAHDAWORLE??" W'I'mmightaglad y'asked, cause coachOgotta GRATEBINNESSPLAN to feeddahmasses, coachOstyle!!


Comminsoontoa CITYNyEAhY'ALL!

Dassrite, coachO gonnaopena CHAINA-RESTRAWS! Gonnaopena Lemsdaysin Oxfuh, gonnaopena Lemsdaysin N'Yawk, den coachO gonnaopenaLemsdays in Shicaga, Lawsangules, Pairahs, Roahm, and ONDAMOON!!

But coachO, y'alldontknowhowtacook! NAWSENSE!! COACHO DABESTCOOKA INALLAMISSISSIP! Checkoutdeese coachO spesh-tees:

	CoachO's Speshtee Halapeenopoppahs! Aivy-buddah's favrah-appatiza, coachO gonna cookupsomehalappenopoppas with LOSSACAJINSPISES! coachO eatsfortydeeseaday an-dasswhyhe BEE BAW!!
	Chickunwfaffa!! (coachO's mama's SECRUW-RECIPEE!) Jusslike MamaOrgeron made backindaday. Darecipee? IZZASECRET, and coachO NEVAGONNATELLNOBUDDY howheemama makedachickunwaffa! NEVA!!! Ode Orgeronfamlasecruw!
	...andfodessert... JACKDANYABANANASPLIT!Dassrite, jusslikeda bananasplit y'alletwheny'allswaskids, witha GOAN-UP-TWIST!! Ineach jackdanyabananasplit, dayse TENOUNCEA-KENTUCKABURBON!

Sogitondownta TGILemsday, y'hear?? coachO GONNACOOKY'ALLUPSOMEEETS!

VOTE COACHO!

Hereda freindlah remindin fromDaCoachO! Yonfootbawchillin' fromallovadisgretlan, remembahdat tamarraw isda Youesssigin'day! DaCoachO wannaremindall dagreatfootbawtalen hemeetovah da Wintah dat playin'for daRebah isolefashafun! DaCoachO, hebringen darRebahfamlah backtodaprime! DACOACHO BELIKKADADDAHCHOO! So, remembahtosignah forDaCoachO. DACOACHO KNOWHAULIVE!

IMDACOACHO'ANIPROVEDISMESSA!



Payfoby dacommta fordaRebahBeatdown!