CoachO takkanat easah!

It'sben alonganhar offseasafah DaCoachO! Fawst, hegotdarecruitsallinnaline. All'dem newmemba o'daRebahfamlah, dey signonnadottaline! WE'GONKICKSOMEESSEECEETEETIN! Aftahdats, DaCoachO needsometahmfo DaCoachO! Lotsadaytill 'daofficialpractatime, soDaCoachO kickinbackan takanateasah! Righnah, hereclinin' innhiscomfahchah an'watchin' hisfavramornagameshow, DAPRICEARIGHT! DaCoachO'juslov watchdaCliffenHanga!

coachO Gottagrate Binnessplan! GONNAMAKAMILLYA DOLLAH!!

Alldarebahfanssay, "HeycoachO, yougottabig contrah-stenshyn, darebbah GREATAHTEEMINDALAND, an' evvabuddahwanna buyaHUMMAfromcoachO! Whassnext indacoachO's plan-ta-TAKEOVAHDAWORLE??" W'I'mmightaglad y'asked, cause coachOgotta GRATEBINNESSPLAN to feeddahmasses, coachOstyle!!


Comminsoontoa CITYNyEAhY'ALL!

Dassrite, coachO gonnaopena CHAINA-RESTRAWS! Gonnaopena Lemsdaysin Oxfuh, gonnaopena Lemsdaysin N'Yawk, den coachO gonnaopenaLemsdays in Shicaga, Lawsangules, Pairahs, Roahm, and ONDAMOON!!

But coachO, y'alldontknowhowtacook! NAWSENSE!! COACHO DABESTCOOKA INALLAMISSISSIP! Checkoutdeese coachO spesh-tees:

	CoachO's Speshtee Halapeenopoppahs! Aivy-buddah's favrah-appatiza, coachO gonna cookupsomehalappenopoppas with LOSSACAJINSPISES! coachO eatsfortydeeseaday an-dasswhyhe BEE BAW!!
	Chickunwfaffa!! (coachO's mama's SECRUW-RECIPEE!) Jusslike MamaOrgeron made backindaday. Darecipee? IZZASECRET, and coachO NEVAGONNATELLNOBUDDY howheemama makedachickunwaffa! NEVA!!! Ode Orgeronfamlasecruw!
	...andfodessert... JACKDANYABANANASPLIT!Dassrite, jusslikeda bananasplit y'alletwheny'allswaskids, witha GOAN-UP-TWIST!! Ineach jackdanyabananasplit, dayse TENOUNCEA-KENTUCKABURBON!

Sogitondownta TGILemsday, y'hear?? coachO GONNACOOKY'ALLUPSOMEEETS!

VOTE COACHO!

Hereda freindlah remindin fromDaCoachO! Yonfootbawchillin' fromallovadisgretlan, remembahdat tamarraw isda Youesssigin'day! DaCoachO wannaremindall dagreatfootbawtalen hemeetovah da Wintah dat playin'for daRebah isolefashafun! DaCoachO, hebringen darRebahfamlah backtodaprime! DACOACHO BELIKKADADDAHCHOO! So, remembahtosignah forDaCoachO. DACOACHO KNOWHAULIVE!

IMDACOACHO'ANIPROVEDISMESSA!



Payfoby dacommta fordaRebahBeatdown!